I'm in the boardroom, downtown in San Francisco, and I don't even remember showing up for work today. I hope they fire me, just like they fired Gregg; well not exactly like that, that was awful. He was caught downloading porn at a phenomenal rate. They did some calculation in OIT that showed he spent forty-five minutes out of every hour looking through smut. That was the last time I was in the boardroom. We all had to listen to Maggie, this Brit from OIT, talk about pornography in the office. After the meeting, they fired him. It was uncomfortable, even for those of us not involved.

The view from this room is fantastic. We're on the fifteenth floor over looking Chinatown, dim sum. Felipe walks into the room and sits at the head of the table, he's been the CEO for five weeks. The whole office is here. I don't like these meetings one bit, I always feel as if they are about to fire me for incompetence. But I'm too tired to be nervous, I'd be happy to go home and get to sleep. Unemployment's a worry for the well rested.

I shouldn't be here, I should have called in sick, I look sick. I'll call in sick tomorrow, tomorrow's Saturday...three-day weekend, if I skip Monday. Felipe starts talking about the Unicorp team and its global something-something. Don't sell it to me pal, I work here. The sky is so blue today, I should have keyed up in the bathroom before the meeting, I might fall asleep as is. His voice is so calming, constant, relaxing, and very European. I don't like doing that at work, keying up, too unhealthy. Ritalin and coffee will get me through the day and maybe a nap on the toilet. Yes, that's just the thing. And I'll have Red Bull for lunch. I should eat something, I haven't eaten in awhile. Why am I so fat? No I'm not fat, fattish, chubby anyways. Girls don't like that and everyone in California's in such good shape. If I were thinner girls would like me and not my friends, my friends are thinner than me, but I'm definitely better looking. Aren't I? Shit, I might be the one with personality and they're the good looking ones. That would be awful. I need to even out, this is terrible. After this meeting I'm going to steal the morphine out of the earthquake kit and mellow out.

"I'd like to convey both my deepest thanks, and sincerest sympathies to all of you." Felipe smiles and nods before leaving the room. Everyone starts to get up and file out, I've missed something here.

"What just happened?" I say, but should have only thought.

"We just got laid off, Brainiac." The woman I share a cubical with snaps at me, she looks like a pile of soft ice cream. My coworkers laugh at me, some try to hold it back.

"Oh." I say. "That wasn't so bad." I don't know what I've been so nervous about. I'm going home and going to bed. Tomorrow, I'll start looking for a new job.

"Where are you going?" Soft Ice cream barks.

"Home."

"It's not time to leave."

"We just got laid off." I say.

"You're an idiot, didn't you listen? The office won't close for another six months, and if you leave now you won't get your severance package."

"I'm just in shock I guess, because of the news."

"Snap out of it and get to work."

"Are you supposed to talk to me like that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." I go back to my computer and sit down. Everything looks like it has fuzz around it, I hate staying up all night. Why do I hurt myself? This is the worst. No this isn't the worst; the worst was the time a few months ago when I stayed up all night playing trivial pursuits. There was so much beer, so many cigarettes, and all that cocaine. I felt so smart, we all did. I didn't even notice it was light out when I heard my alarm going off, I was still at the dinning room table when it started to buzz, it was horrible. Everyone at work knows I am a wreck, they have to know, it is so obvious. Calling out sick on Mondays and Fridays, always late, always sniffling and you can't wash that out-all-night-kind-of-funk off with one shower. I feel my soul empties out all over my keyboard. I've corrupted myself, I'm morally bankrupt, I need a nap.

I start entering the alpha numeric serial numbers into the database, but something seems different. My usual dread has dissipated. I'm still tired, a bit unsure of myself, and generally frightened of the world, but I do not dread being here. I won't always have to work here, this is not what I am going do for the rest of my life. In a few months this office will close and I will be free from Unicorp, I won't ship toxic and noxious fumes to other countries with less strict environmental laws. I won't be passing gas for the rest of my life.

Felipe sends an email to the whole office detailing the last days of Unicorp. For the most part it is business as usual, then there will be waves of layoffs, we will all get severance packages. I haven't been this happy in a long time. Tomorrow I will start to worry again.